Peggy, We Need Your Help!

Back in the 1990s and early 2000s, Gary Adams would make me each Dec a tape of "The Best of the John Boy and Billy Show" for that year. They did something they called "John Boy and Billy's Playhouse" and this blog will imitate that format. 

Here is the required background. Back in the 1990s, my good friend Dan Devine had a heart event that just about took him out. After surgery and subsequent recovery, his loving wife, Peggy, who has a nursing degree from UNC, made it her mission in life to learn all should could about the American food industry to make sure she only Cooked for Dan what was best for his health.

David and Renee Crane and Dan and Peggy Devine

So, when you eat with the Devines, which we have often and with great pleasure, you somewhere during the evening hear  Peggy recite what is in the meal and why it is good for you. She is now a top expert at combining chemistry and the culinary arts. At her house, one does not merely eat salmon. Oh no one eats a species caught in a certain river at a time of the year. I have told Renee on more than one occasion after leaving their house " a meal with Peg resembles a chemistry lab session."

OK, with that background let me tell you how I could benefit from Peggy's encyclopedic knowledge of the American food industry.

Nephew and I need to eat between 3,000-4,000 calories per day during our hike. But we do not want to carry more than 2 lbs. of food for each day. It presents a quandary as at times we must restock at small convenience stores. 

So, what I have envisioned is doing a Face Time video call with Peggy as I walk through a store and have her help me choose food products that are light weight yet chock full of calories, carbs, fat, sodium, etc. In other words, exactly the type of food she and Dan avoid!

Now Peg has been walking what I will call "the light side" of the food industry. But I need her to come over to the dark side. You know, where Darth Vader lives.

Peg has been walking on the light side for so long that I think she will have to be hypnotized to act contrary to her light side self. So, as our playhouse opens, she has been hypnotized to respond when seeing Darth Vader's face on the screen of Dan's phone and hearing him say "I need the help of Dark Side Peggy." Of course, I will be wearing an ultralite Darth Vader mask!

Playhouse Begins

* Dan hands Peg the phone. She sees Darth and hears me say “I need the help of Dark Side Peggy."

* Peggy "what can I do for you Darth?"

* David/Darth "I need for you to watch carefully as I walk through this store and help me choose food items for 3 day's consumption, so 12,000 calories totaling no more than 6 lbs. Any type of food is a possibility: Snickers, Twinkies, processed cheese, anything.

* Peggy "OK Darth, walk me through the store. Wait, are those Honey Buns? Turn that package over so I can read its contents.  Good Lord it has 690 calories! If you will put Maple flavored peanut butter on it, add a Hershey bar and a few flattened marshmallows you will get enough fat, sugar, sodium and carbs to stop the heart of a charging Cape Buffalo!"

* Darth "Now you're talking Dark Side Peggy!"

Well, to avoid making this blog any longer, let me end by saying you can now see the possibilities Peg could bring to our shopping experience. All she would have to do is make a 180 degree turn from her normal self.

Peggy, we need you!!

Uncle